Cookery School by the Numbers

There is a lovely cookery school (as it is called here in Ireland) just outside of Cork by the name of Ballymaloe. Before I even arrived on this island I was dropping hints and trying to convince my husband that I needed to attend the school's certificate program. Located in the middle of a 100-acre organic farm, the students assist in the gardens and can help to milk the cows in addition to running through a rigorous 12 weeks of instruction. Below is a list taken from their website of 67 things students learn while at Ballymaloe Cookery School.

(Long, but worth the read!)

Just 67 Examples of things you'll learn

1. How to lay a table, serve, clear and balance plates like a suave, professional French waiter.

2. Everything you always wanted to know about kitchen implements, kitchen equipment and kitchen knives (including sharpening the latter).

3. How to become a speed chopper, slicer, carver and peeler without chopping, slicing, carving or peeling any part of your anatomy.

4. How to make a really good meat or vegetable stock.

5. Why syrups are every chef’s best friend. How to make them. How to use them.

6. How to make a perfect loaf of brown soda bread.

7. How to make a selection of mouth-wateringly delicious biscuits, cookies and cakes.

8. Why it is important to prepare an ‘order of work’; how to do it; and the benefits in terms of speed, efficiency and – most crucially – quality.

9. More than you thought you would ever know about kitchen hygiene and food safety including the legal requirements if you go professional. Oh, and how to avoid and put out kitchen fires... just in case.

10. Soup secrets. From the most simple to the incredibly complex you will be able to soup it up on a grand scale.

11. The art of the tart. Become an expert at baking sweet and savoury tarts using melt-in-the-mouth pastry.

14. How to create some of the most famous salads in the world plus tips on how to create your own variations.

15. How to make traditional jams, preserves and chutneys that will have everyone coming back for more…and more…and more.

16. An enormous amount about cheese. How to buy it. How to store it. How to cook with it. How to serve it.

17. A great deal about wine. How to develop your palate. How to recognise the good, the bad and the indifferent. How to buy wine. How to store wine. How to cook with wine. How to serve wine. How to impress the snootiest of sommeliers with your expertise.

18. About 50 different things to do with chicken – all of them extremely tasty – plus why professional chefs always roast chicken upside down (the bird, not the chef).

19. How to prepare over fifty scrumptious and nutritional vegetarian recipes including Provencale Bean Stew, Thai Vegetable Curry, plus cooking with tofu.

20. Cooking Indian food that tastes like Indian food is supposed to taste including Mild Madras Curry with all the trimmings, delicious Dahl, and Onion Bhajis?

21. How to make the perfect chocolate fudge pudding.

22. How to make the perfect fluffy lemon pudding.

23. How to make perfect pecan and coffee squares, raspberry and coconut squares, glazed almond and…oh, you get the picture. Basically, how to make a range of perfect squares.

24. How to make an enormous number of other perfect puddings.

25. Cooking Mexican food that tastes like Mexican food is supposed to taste including hand-made tortillas, mole, quesadillas, fajitas, chilquilas, guacamole and tomatilla salsa.

26. How to fan an avocado.

27. How to cook beans and pulses.

28. How to pluck. How to gut. How to stuff.

29. What to braise. When to braise. How to braise like a professional.

30. How to cook traditional roast rib of beef with all the trimmings including Yorkshire pudding, horseradish sauce, roast parsnips, roast potatoes, gravy and…again, you get the idea.

31. Making a Cassoulet that the most pernickety of Cassoulet-lovers will love.

32. The best ways to serve prawns, shrimps and other shellfish plus how to make real mayonnaise.

33. Cooking Greek food that tastes like Greek food is supposed to taste including Mousaka, Spannokopita, Tsatziki, and an authentic Greek Village Salad.

34. Pies, pies, pies. Shepherd’s Pie. Cottage Pie. Spiced Vegetable Pie, Venison and Field Mushroom Pie. Ballymaloe Chicken and Bacon Pie. In a nutshell: how to make the best pies in the world.

35. How to cook game. Over twelve different ways to serve game plus some different side dishes and sauces to accompany it.

36. Over forty cracking egg recipes including Ouefs Mimosa, Egg Mayonnaise, the perfect frittata and – more difficult than it looks – the perfect omelette.

37. Creaming, mashing, roasting, steaming and caramelizing vegetables.

38. How to ice and decorate a cake. Piping and feathering.

39. The A-Z of making pate including smooth chicken liver pate, duck liver pate, Pate de Compagne, and others - plus how to make Melba Toast and Crostini.

40. How to identify fresh fish. How to fillet any type of fish.

41. Over sixteen different ways to cook fish including poaching, roasting on the bone, baking in a salt crust, pan grilling and cooking en papilotte.

42. Mile High Lemon Meringue Pie and why it is vital you know how to make it.

43. How to make marzipan.

44. Twenty-three incredibly interesting and tasty things to do with leftovers.

45. At least eleven different things to do with filo pastry - including salmon in filo with tomato and ginger, crab filos with a Thai dipping sauce, and filo water lilies with summer fruits.

46. How to open, prepare and freeze scallops.

47. How to make ciabatta.

48. Fourteen different breakfast dishes including kedgeree, kipper, porridge, black pudding, white pudding, waffles, crunchy granola, muffins, homemade muesli, Greek yoghurt, pancakes, spotted dog and stripy cat.

49. Get into a stew. Vegetable stew. Lamb stew. Chicken Stew. Beef stew. Oxtail stew. Other stews too numerous to mention.

50. How to make panettone bread pudding.

51. Fascinating things to do with rice including how to make a risotto that will have everyone thinking you are Italian (and will confirm it, if you are Italian).

52. How to fool around. Blackcurrant fool. Gooseberry fool. Rhubarb Fool.

53. How to make a really, really, really good glazed belly of pork with Savoy cabbage, celeriac and potato puree plus about seven other really, really, really good things to do with pork.

54. How to prepare a dark chocolate soufflé with marbled chocolate wafers and chocolate coffee beans – and make it look easy.

55. What to do when something goes wrong. Three simple ways to save the day.

56. Hey pesto. How to make pesto.

57. Running a market stall in a farmers’ market. Practical advice.

58. How to prepare gougons of sole, plaice or monkfish with a variety of sauces.

59. Raising the hamburger to an art form. How to make the ultimate hamburger. How to make a vegetarian burger.

60. Several truly wonderful ways to cook lamb plus all the trimmings from fresh mint sauce to pommes dauphine.

61. Everything you always wanted to know about menu planning but were afraid to ask.

62. How to glaze fruit.

63. How to bake rye and caraway bread.

64. Look east. How to cook Chinese Fish Soup with Spring Onions, Light Fish Soup with Chilli and Coriander, Thai Chicken, Galangal and Coriander Soup, Chicken and Coconut Laksa, Vietnamese Rice Paper Rolls of Shrimp And Herbs, Spring Rolls with Thai Dipping Sauce, Stir-Fried Beef with Oyster Sauce, Asian Chicken and Noodle Salad, Donna’s Chicken in Basil & Coconut Broth, Thai Prawn Salad with Chilli and Fresh Coriander.

65. Becoming a professional chef. Inside advice on getting started plus practical, hands-on advice.

66. How to prepare duck leg roast with honey and rosemary.

67. How to prepare sweet pea guacamole served on warm tortillas with crème fraiche.

Amazing right? So why am I not there right now? I'll give you 10,295 reasons why. No I'm not going to share another long list; 10,295 is the number of € it costs to attend!

But here is another number... 19. That is the number of euros the Ballymaloe Cookery Course book cost on Amazon.co.uk. And guess whose copy just turned up in the mail the other day!?

Don't worry, I'm not going to go all Julie & Julia on you, although that bit of blog writing resulted in a book and movie deal, so not really a bad plan. The real reason I'm not going to go page by page preparing everything in the book, besides the fact that it's already been done, is the fact that the book is 639 pages with multiple recipes on each page and I'm just not that dedicated. What I will do with this cookbook is use it as inspiration and of course instruction on my quest to keep busy in the kitchen!

If you've made it this far you may be asking yourself if I actually cooked anything in anticipation of my second installment of What's Cookin' Wednesday. The answer is yes, and of course the recipe came from, where else, my new cookbook!

I thought I'd start with something typically Irish, and what could be more Irish than Shepard's Pie? Lamb, Potatoes, rustic one dish meal! However, I don't love lamb, so I opted to make a Cottage Pie instead which is the name when lamb is replaced with ground beef. In addition I added peas and carrots, which the Ballymaloe recipe did not call for. Extra veggies for my hungry man! And instead of regular old mashed potatoes I topped it with a horseradish and spring onion version for a little added kick!  

Bon Apetite!